Recovering Human Being
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I Had My Doubts But There You Were
I’ve been trying very hard to keep my Cynic under control, but it’s becoming a challenge. My Cynic, and yes, it’s an entity unto itself, likes to run wild, wreak havoc, and be a general nuisance. Sure, it can be endearing and quirky. It can even be cute and flirtatious. But, and this is an… Read more
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Four Words That Can Save A Life
I can’t stop thinking about the words of one of my favourite poems. It was written by one of my favourite writers, and when I’m in a mood, it’s the piece of writing that can lift my spirits. I first heard Maya Angelou read her poem, Still I Rise, in a grade 8 English class.… Read more
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Follow The Yellow Brick Road
There’s a lot of tension in the air right now. A nervous energy is shooting an electrical pulse through all living things. Can you feel it too? It tingles, burns and my muscles are twitching, flexing, getting ready for… What? There’s an itchiness, a need to move, go, do something but, again, what? Where can… Read more
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Why Is It So Hard To Do Nothing?
I had a plan for today, and it was so simple. I’d even call it elegant in its pure modesty. That being said, it wasn’t something I entered into casually or without a great deal of thought and internal debate. I struggled, wrestled with the idea until its necessity became too compelling to ignore. It… Read more
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Sitting In The Dark Feeling A Little Crazy
Well, hello darkness, my old friend and confidante. Funny seeing you here, at this time of night, in the middle of a wind storm. It’s a bit too nippy to be wondering about, don’t you think? Shouldn’t you be tucked away in bed where it’s warm, snuggly, and drowsy? But here you are! It’s strange… Read more
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When Did I Become Scared Of You?
Well, how about we process some thoughts and feelings in real-time? That sounds like fun! And it always works out so well. I’m sitting at a garage, waiting for my car to be serviced, and it’s the strangest sensation. It feels wrong. It feels like I’m breaking at least a dozen laws, and soon a… Read more
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Just Give It A Break
The last few days, months really, have been quite heady, and my head is feeling the strain. It’s an overworked muscle in need of a rest day. Can the brain pull a hammy or experience a Charlie-horse? No, that’s just silly and anatomically incorrect, but it’s a similar sensation. It’s like brain freeze brought on… Read more
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The Truth Is Complicated
Okay, this is not what I sat down to write today. I was going to write something light and fun because the last couple of posts have been a bit heavy. I need light, fluffy, fun so, I thought you might need it too. Then I turned on the news, and now I have a… Read more
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The Battle Between Reality And Fantasy
The holidays are over, and I’m trying to get my brain out of the land of daydreams, fantasies, and impetuous optimism. I don’t want to completely vacate that wonderful slice of paradise because let’s face it, the real world is cold, dark, and kind of ew. Those fantasies inspire a brash yet delightful idealism that… Read more
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Zebras And Pigheaded Optimism
Happy three days into the brand new year! I think we can all agree that last year was a horrible mistake that we should never, ever repeat. Also, if I may offer a suggestion? It should be the year we never speak of again. We went from 2019 right into 2021. Call it a leap… Read more
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I’m Choosing To Live In A Moment Of Delusion
So, who’s sad to see 2020 go? Show of hands! Anyone? Perhaps someone in the back? Huh, no one is raising their hand. That’s an intriguing turn of events. I thought that there would be one misguided soul tearfully sing Auld Lang Syne with a raised glass of champagne. Well, look at that! The glasses… Read more
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The Relaxing Sound Of A…What Now?
This might be a weird question, but I’m nothing if not a little weird. I hope it’s not too invasive, and I certainly don’t mean to pry. If it makes you uncomfortable, please ignore it and pretend I didn’t ask. Your personal business is none of my business unless you want to make it my… Read more
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Together But Apart: A Post Christmas Curiosity
Oh, my stomach! I think my gastric ocular ligament failed me. What’s a gastric ocular ligament, you ask? It’s the part of the body that connects your eyes to your stomach. It’s supposed to prevent you from eating everything you see but, clearly, it doesn’t always work. Usually, and I’m sure this is just a… Read more
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Wishing You The Happiest Whatever You Celebrate!
It’s Christmas! Or, it’s the Holidays! It’s Whatever-You-Celebrate day, yay! Should I just pick one and run with it? Nah, I’m not going to limit myself to one positive sentiment when there are so many to choose from. Besides, they’re all good vibes. Happy vibes. Sweet, scrumptious, and delectable vibes. Today is a good vibes… Read more
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Finding Happy: In Chaotic Thoughts and Shared Moments
It’s a couple days before Christmas and, my brain is checking itself into a hotel. It’s drawing a bubble bath and laying out warm pyjamas. It’s ordering room service and settling in to watch Home Alone for the 5004th time. What can I say? It’s a classic and it’s my Christmas movie. I think we… Read more
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Silly Dreams and Fancy Someday’s
I’m not a fancy gal or “high maintenance.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that! If you’re fancy or like things a particular way? Great, that’s a part of your unique personality. Me? I’m the opposite, which will work out much better because opposites attract or compliment, or balance each other. Did I use or… Read more
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Stop Blinking At Me!
I’m sitting here, staring at this blank page, and the cursor is aggressively blinking at me. It’s so impatient! Such a nag. Blink, come on, what are you waiting for? Blink, seriously, are you gonna use me or are we just gonna stare at each other? Blink, well, this is fun! Blink, use me or… Read more
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Finding Happy: But Hitting A Roadblock
I started this search for happiness as a way to push myself out of my own mind and get out of my own way. Inside of my head, it’s a dark and dank cave that’s cluttered, messy. There are ghosts, a few demons, and foul-smelling odour filters out the good in my life. They cloud… Read more
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Tasting A Memory
A strange thing happened to me the other day. I was drinking a lovely cup of tea, so on brand, and it tasted like a memory. Is that an odd thing to say? Tasting a memory sounds a little strange, and if you ask me what a memory tastes like? Kind of like diesel, wildflowers… Read more
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Is Disability A Bad Word?
I recently watched a video of two able-bodied people talking about the word disability. They thought it was degrading and humiliating. They decided, if their bodies ever malfunctioned, that they would prefer differently-abled because it didn’t sound as weak, and they wouldn’t feel so alone. If someone called them disabled? That would be too awful… Read more
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Finding Happy: In a Simple Moment
After a week of miraculously blue skies, the grey clouds are back, and the threat of rain is imminent. Was that a rainfall warning? Yeah, this is going to be a wet one, my friend. Do I dare say, wild? No, that’s a bit suggestive and highly inaccurate. Wet and wimpy? Sure, for the sake… Read more
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I Need To Take Better Care
Huh, well this is odd. I can’t actually see the words I’m writing. I think I’m experiencing some sort of allergic reaction, and my vision is a bit blurry. Am I worried? Nope, though I probably should be because of…Things. It’ll be fine in a couple of days. I just took an antihistamine so, it’ll… Read more
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The Numbers Game
Life is a numbers game. What are the odds, and what are the risks? Does it matter? I have to play the game, calculate the risks, and get on with it. There’s no other choice. I can’t back out now. The day I was conceived was the day I entered the arena, and choice had… Read more
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Finding Happy: On The Royal Mile
Is the cabin fever getting to anyone else? Is it too soon to make fever allusions? Have you, like me, actually tried to scale the walls of your home? You found a bug bite on your thigh and thought, for a fleeting six minutes and thirty-two seconds, that the universe was giving you a supernatural… Read more
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What Did I Do To Deserve This?
Do you believe in Karma? The principle of cause and effect. What goes around comes around. Do unto others and all of that. Do you think it’s true? Do you think that everything we do, say, or put out in the universe has an impact on our current lives and our future selves? I could… Read more
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Abolishing The Always
As a general rule, I choose to live my life in that awkward grey space that sits between two extremes. Life, as I’ve experienced it, isn’t all white or all black. It’s rarely all good or all bad. Most of the time, my journey has been a mix of bleeding watercolours that have created an… Read more
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Finding Happy: In A Needle?
First off, that title, it’s not what it sounds like. I assure you it’s perfectly innocent. It’s as innocent as Christmas and Santa Clause, which is an odd comparison for me to make. If you know me, then you know I’m not a fan of the holidays. I don’t dislike them, and I don’t hate… Read more
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Yeah, I Don’t Know Either
This is your one and only warning! You can’t say it didn’t happen. It was literally the first sentence I typed. Prepare yourself for copious amounts of mental vomit. An expulsion of— Well, I don’t know either, but I can tell you that I’m having a moment of petulance. I’m staring at this blank page… Read more
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We Need To Stop Saying This
Just don’t say it, please. Please, I’m begging you don’t let these words come out of your mouth. Yes, I’m talking to myself as much as I’m saying this to you. I’m guilty! I’ve let the words spill out of my mouth in an attempt to help comfort someone else. I’ve said them to myself,… Read more
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Finding Happy: On A Frustrating Day
A few hours after my epic, and misguided, hike last weekend, the provincial government put parts of my province on lockdown. Confirmed cases are going up, and my region is topping the list. We’re number! Where’s my foam finger? Too bad it’s not the middle finger because that would perfectly express my feelings right now.… Read more
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Correction: I’m A Coward
The clouds hang heavily in the sky, and rain batters the world below. The wind rustles the trees, and the trees let out an ungodly howl. A single crow clings to a barren branch of a lonely oak, and caws in defiance. The technicolour world fades to black and white as a three-note musical score… Read more
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We Won’t Forget You!
Remembrance day has come and gone. For a moment, at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, we stop what we’re doing for a moment of silence. We honour the men and women who’ve sacrificed so much for the freedoms, rights, privileges that we take for granted. We thank them for… Read more
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Finding Happy: On A Lonely Trail
I woke up early on Saturday morning and crawled out of bed. Now, I’m not a morning person, so there was a groan, a sigh, and I questioned my sanity. This is a day when sensible people sleep in and slowly start their weekend. Me? I was getting up with the sun and getting ready… Read more
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The Problem With Self Help
I’m writing this on Saturday, just before noon, so, um, oops. Turns out I’m a tiny bit of a liar because here I am, doing the thing I said I wouldn’t do today. In my last post, I expressed my exhaustion and my overwhelming frustration with life. I’ve run out of emotions! I didn’t know… Read more
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Note to Self: It’s Okay To Take A Break
I’m so distracted and out of focus. I can’t hold onto a thought, let alone follow it to a logical and meaningful conclusion. Sure, my attention span is woefully lacking on a good day. It’s so short, calling it a span seems like a gross overestimation of my ability to process real-time information. A span… Read more
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Finding Happy: On The Streets of Paris
I’m feeling a little claustrophobic, and I’ve climbed the walls two dozen times in the last week alone. The restlessness is making my knee bounce up and down. There’s an itch I can’t scratch because flexibility is a myth. Or, I’m too tightly wound to be bend over backwards and kiss the sky. That big… Read more
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You Can’t Complain!
Oh, I beg to differ, and I’m mildly offended. You’re seriously underestimating my abilities. What’s this “can’t” word you speak of? It does not compute, register, or sound like a word spoken in the queens English. I can’t, allegedly, complain? Girrrl. Boyyy. Um, insert your preferred pronoun, and own it loud and proud, my friend.… Read more
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Well That Was Refreshing
A few days ago, I posted a picture on Instagram wearing a mask and hashtagged it wear your damn mask. It’s not a political statement. The only agenda I’m pushing is one where I don’t die from the thing that I cannot mention. You know it. You hate it as much as I do. I… Read more
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Finding Happy: In A Few Tea Leaves
I decided that this was the perfect time to go out into the world in hope of Finding Happy because it’s a snappy title. Also, I really want to live a happier life, and right now, I’m not entirely sure what that means or what makes me happy. The best way to figure that out,… Read more
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The Internet Is A Weird Place!
How long has this inter-webs thing been around? Not long enough? Too long? Has it overstayed its welcome, or is it just getting warmed up? Let’s start a post with half a dozen questions because everyone loves a pop quiz first thing in the morning. Start your day with a cup of coffee (or tea),… Read more
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But You Almost Died!
Oh, the drama of a near-death experience. The intense rush of complicated emotions. The heart-racing fear. The mad dash to a hospital where a dozen people paw at your body as you lay there, helpless. If you’re lucky, at some point, you might hear a choir of angels and have a moment of clarity. The… Read more
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There’s A Glass On A Table
There’s an empty glass sitting on a table, and someone walks over with a jug of water. They start to pour the water, and we sit there, transfixed. We watch the clear liquid cascade out of the jug like a waterfall in miniature. Water hits the bottom of the glass. It splashes, almost violently, against… Read more
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I Was Today Years Old
Did you know that there are people in this world that wake up with a smile on their face? Their alarm goes off, they fling off the blanket and look at the sun streaming through their curtains. They sigh, not out of exhaustion or exasperation, but contentment. They feel rested and ready. It’s another day,… Read more
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A Realist Walks Into A Magical Forest
The wind is howling outside my window. I think the building just shuddered or was that a flinch? The glass is rattling. The trees are bending and twisting. How can something so sturdy bend like that? Do they practice yoga when we’re not looking, or is it a more primordial art? They have to do… Read more
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A Very Different Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving! A day of feasting, laughing with family, and taking a moment to genuinely give thanks for the good things in life. Also, it’s a day to be super lazy, watch stupid movies, and test the durability of that waistband. Is it as stretchy as they advertised? Is that a challenge? Well, consider the… Read more
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Facing The End Of The World With Cynicism
I read a quote that said something like, and I’m paraphrasing, a skeptic would ask God for their identification. I’m sure this person was trying to make a very insightful point, or simply aiming for pithy or piety. There’s a place for that, I guess. Who am I to judge? Nobody. I’m nobody at all.… Read more
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And Pivot!
So, this is different. Mondays have a certain structure to them, and I’m acting like it’s any given Tuesday. What’s wrong with me? Have I no sense of decorum? Do I have little regard for schedules? Am I oblivious to the comfort found in routine? I love a schedule, and my daily routine is so… Read more
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The Eviction Of My Own Mind
Three weeks. I was locked up, alone with my thoughts, for three whole weeks. Thanks a lot, COVID! Being sick sucked. Punch the ‘s’ and draw out the ‘ucked.’ It’s not fun. It’s not a vacation. Sure, I watched copious amounts of content on numerous streaming services. I didn’t shower for four days straight. My… Read more
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Tubes In Holes To Motivate Your Monday?
“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” — To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee There’s absolutely no reason to put a single word on a single sheet of paper. There’s even less reason to keep doing it until the words,… Read more
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As Controversial As A Porg
I’m going to say something so controversial that I think some of you might never talk to me again. There will be rage, hurt, and maybe some tears. Strong emotions. Overwhelming? Perhaps, but just know that your feelings are valid. How you express these feelings might need some fine-tuning. Yell into a pillow and not… Read more
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