• Can I Trust The Voice In My Head?

    March 5, 2021 by

    The hardest thing about coming back after a vacation is getting the brain working again. It was only a week, and I’ve already forgotten how to type, spell, compose prose. What is punctuation? I gently slap my cheeks to wake up and remember how this thing is supposed to work. But I’m back! It’s a… Read more

  • I Took A Week Off And…

    March 1, 2021 by

    I haven’t written a word in a week and, my goodness, was it necessary. I can’t tell you how much I needed this break! My mind was fried, words became sharp blades, and the mere thought of writing brought tears to my eyes. I just couldn’t do it. I was done. I didn’t have a… Read more

  • Take Time Off? But I Gotta Get Sh!T Done!

    February 17, 2021 by

    Today, as I’m putting these words on this page, is a provincial holiday. It’s Family Day, which sounds like a made-up holiday. Aren’t all holidays made up? Sure, but this one feels like an arbitrary day off. It was thrown in to bridge the gap between Christmas and whatever comes next. Spring break? Is that… Read more

  • I’m Weak But What’s Wrong With That?

    February 15, 2021 by

    When I was six, my family went to a summer camp in Manitoba, Canada. We stayed in a cabin filled with moths about the size of my face. Did you know that moths were prodigious breeders? Who knew something so small could lay so many eggs? It was truly remarkable! My mom spent the entire… Read more

  • What Do You Do When Your Emotions Are Too Much?

    February 12, 2021 by

    It’s absolutely freezing! We’re trapped inside of a polar vortex that’s turning the world into an ice cube. No, wait, that’s the cheesy movie I accidentally started watching. How do you accidentally watch a movie? Insomnia opens weird doors at odd hours, and that leads to peculiar discoveries. Sometimes those peculiarities are useless products being… Read more

  • The Origins of Aliens and Other Coping Strategies

    February 10, 2021 by

    I’ve mentioned this before, I dedicated a whole post to it, but I’m not a hugger. It goes beyond not liking it or finding it peculiar. I have a strong visceral reaction to a hug from a stranger. My throat clenches, my pupils dilate, my muscles tighten, and I become as stiff as a cardboard… Read more

  • It’s Time To Stop Apologizing

    February 8, 2021 by

    I was in the elevator, the door opened, and I started to walk out but stopped abruptly. Someone was standing there, waiting to get on, and we began to move at the same time. We both let out a startled, oh! and jumped back. There was an awkward moment of silence, and then I said… Read more

  • Is It Ever Okay To Give Up?

    February 5, 2021 by

    “Just existing on some days is more than enough. The flowers do it every day and they add beauty to the world just by being here.” — Nikita Gill (@nikita_gill on Instagram) I haven’t started one of these things with a quote in a while, but this one stopped my scrolling finger mid-swipe. I was… Read more

  • Early Morning Brooding and Bombastic Emotions

    February 3, 2021 by

    My alarm is supposed to go off in about 55 minutes, but here I am, wide awake. It’s still dark outside, and I think the sun might be too tired to rise. I can hear raindrops hitting the windows with a ferocity that’s quite startling. It sounds like tiny glass cutters are being juggled by… Read more

  • It’s A LASAGNA Damn It!

    February 1, 2021 by

    I wrote that title for one person and for one reason. It’ll make her laugh. That’s it. That’s the only reason I did it. I want her to read this, shaking her head, and chuckling. If she mutters, I can’t believe you did it? I’ve earned some bonus points, and I’m patting myself on the… Read more

  • And Now For A Brief Respite

    January 29, 2021 by

    I try to stay informed about world events because that’s what grown-ups do, or some nonsense like that. I check out the news and treat my brain to a daily dose of WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! I question our longevity as a species and my own sanity. When that joyful and fulfilling moment… Read more

  • A Moment Of Insecurity

    January 27, 2021 by

    Every once in a while, I like to start this by saying that I have nothing to say. My mind is blank. Words are hard. Who will read this? Well, you are, and I’m grateful. No, seriously, I am immensely grateful despite the sentence I’m about to write. The next sentence would seemingly contradict the… Read more

  • I Had My Doubts But There You Were

    January 25, 2021 by

    I’ve been trying very hard to keep my Cynic under control, but it’s becoming a challenge. My Cynic, and yes, it’s an entity unto itself, likes to run wild, wreak havoc, and be a general nuisance. Sure, it can be endearing and quirky. It can even be cute and flirtatious. But, and this is an… Read more

  • Four Words That Can Save A Life

    January 22, 2021 by

    I can’t stop thinking about the words of one of my favourite poems. It was written by one of my favourite writers, and when I’m in a mood, it’s the piece of writing that can lift my spirits. I first heard Maya Angelou read her poem, Still I Rise, in a grade 8 English class.… Read more

  • Follow The Yellow Brick Road

    January 20, 2021 by

    There’s a lot of tension in the air right now. A nervous energy is shooting an electrical pulse through all living things. Can you feel it too? It tingles, burns and my muscles are twitching, flexing, getting ready for… What? There’s an itchiness, a need to move, go, do something but, again, what? Where can… Read more

  • Why Is It So Hard To Do Nothing?

    January 18, 2021 by

    I had a plan for today, and it was so simple. I’d even call it elegant in its pure modesty. That being said, it wasn’t something I entered into casually or without a great deal of thought and internal debate. I struggled, wrestled with the idea until its necessity became too compelling to ignore. It… Read more

  • Sitting In The Dark Feeling A Little Crazy

    January 15, 2021 by

    Well, hello darkness, my old friend and confidante. Funny seeing you here, at this time of night, in the middle of a wind storm. It’s a bit too nippy to be wondering about, don’t you think? Shouldn’t you be tucked away in bed where it’s warm, snuggly, and drowsy? But here you are! It’s strange… Read more

  • When Did I Become Scared Of You?

    January 13, 2021 by

    Well, how about we process some thoughts and feelings in real-time? That sounds like fun! And it always works out so well. I’m sitting at a garage, waiting for my car to be serviced, and it’s the strangest sensation. It feels wrong. It feels like I’m breaking at least a dozen laws, and soon a… Read more

  • Just Give It A Break

    January 11, 2021 by

    The last few days, months really, have been quite heady, and my head is feeling the strain. It’s an overworked muscle in need of a rest day. Can the brain pull a hammy or experience a Charlie-horse? No, that’s just silly and anatomically incorrect, but it’s a similar sensation. It’s like brain freeze brought on… Read more

  • The Truth Is Complicated

    January 8, 2021 by

    Okay, this is not what I sat down to write today. I was going to write something light and fun because the last couple of posts have been a bit heavy. I need light, fluffy, fun so, I thought you might need it too. Then I turned on the news, and now I have a… Read more

  • The Battle Between Reality And Fantasy

    January 6, 2021 by

    The holidays are over, and I’m trying to get my brain out of the land of daydreams, fantasies, and impetuous optimism. I don’t want to completely vacate that wonderful slice of paradise because let’s face it, the real world is cold, dark, and kind of ew. Those fantasies inspire a brash yet delightful idealism that… Read more

  • Zebras And Pigheaded Optimism

    January 4, 2021 by

    Happy three days into the brand new year! I think we can all agree that last year was a horrible mistake that we should never, ever repeat. Also, if I may offer a suggestion? It should be the year we never speak of again. We went from 2019 right into 2021. Call it a leap… Read more

  • I’m Choosing To Live In A Moment Of Delusion

    January 1, 2021 by

    So, who’s sad to see 2020 go? Show of hands! Anyone? Perhaps someone in the back? Huh, no one is raising their hand. That’s an intriguing turn of events. I thought that there would be one misguided soul tearfully sing Auld Lang Syne with a raised glass of champagne.  Well, look at that! The glasses… Read more

  • The Relaxing Sound Of A…What Now?

    December 30, 2020 by

    This might be a weird question, but I’m nothing if not a little weird. I hope it’s not too invasive, and I certainly don’t mean to pry. If it makes you uncomfortable, please ignore it and pretend I didn’t ask. Your personal business is none of my business unless you want to make it my… Read more

  • Together But Apart: A Post Christmas Curiosity

    December 28, 2020 by

    Oh, my stomach! I think my gastric ocular ligament failed me. What’s a gastric ocular ligament, you ask? It’s the part of the body that connects your eyes to your stomach. It’s supposed to prevent you from eating everything you see but, clearly, it doesn’t always work. Usually, and I’m sure this is just a… Read more

  • Wishing You The Happiest Whatever You Celebrate!

    December 25, 2020 by

    It’s Christmas! Or, it’s the Holidays! It’s Whatever-You-Celebrate day, yay! Should I just pick one and run with it? Nah, I’m not going to limit myself to one positive sentiment when there are so many to choose from. Besides, they’re all good vibes. Happy vibes. Sweet, scrumptious, and delectable vibes. Today is a good vibes… Read more

  • Finding Happy: In Chaotic Thoughts and Shared Moments

    December 23, 2020 by

    It’s a couple days before Christmas and, my brain is checking itself into a hotel. It’s drawing a bubble bath and laying out warm pyjamas. It’s ordering room service and settling in to watch Home Alone for the 5004th time. What can I say? It’s a classic and it’s my Christmas movie. I think we… Read more

  • Silly Dreams and Fancy Someday’s

    December 21, 2020 by

    I’m not a fancy gal or “high maintenance.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that! If you’re fancy or like things a particular way? Great, that’s a part of your unique personality. Me? I’m the opposite, which will work out much better because opposites attract or compliment, or balance each other. Did I use or… Read more

  • Stop Blinking At Me!

    December 18, 2020 by

    I’m sitting here, staring at this blank page, and the cursor is aggressively blinking at me. It’s so impatient! Such a nag. Blink, come on, what are you waiting for? Blink, seriously, are you gonna use me or are we just gonna stare at each other? Blink, well, this is fun! Blink, use me or… Read more

  • Finding Happy: But Hitting A Roadblock

    December 16, 2020 by

    I started this search for happiness as a way to push myself out of my own mind and get out of my own way. Inside of my head, it’s a dark and dank cave that’s cluttered, messy. There are ghosts, a few demons, and foul-smelling odour filters out the good in my life. They cloud… Read more

  • Tasting A Memory

    December 14, 2020 by

    A strange thing happened to me the other day. I was drinking a lovely cup of tea, so on brand, and it tasted like a memory. Is that an odd thing to say? Tasting a memory sounds a little strange, and if you ask me what a memory tastes like? Kind of like diesel, wildflowers… Read more

  • Is Disability A Bad Word?

    December 11, 2020 by

    I recently watched a video of two able-bodied people talking about the word disability. They thought it was degrading and humiliating. They decided, if their bodies ever malfunctioned, that they would prefer differently-abled because it didn’t sound as weak, and they wouldn’t feel so alone. If someone called them disabled? That would be too awful… Read more

  • Finding Happy: In a Simple Moment

    December 9, 2020 by

    After a week of miraculously blue skies, the grey clouds are back, and the threat of rain is imminent. Was that a rainfall warning? Yeah, this is going to be a wet one, my friend. Do I dare say, wild? No, that’s a bit suggestive and highly inaccurate. Wet and wimpy? Sure, for the sake… Read more

  • I Need To Take Better Care

    December 7, 2020 by

    Huh, well this is odd. I can’t actually see the words I’m writing. I think I’m experiencing some sort of allergic reaction, and my vision is a bit blurry. Am I worried? Nope, though I probably should be because of…Things. It’ll be fine in a couple of days. I just took an antihistamine so, it’ll… Read more

  • The Numbers Game

    December 4, 2020 by

    Life is a numbers game. What are the odds, and what are the risks? Does it matter? I have to play the game, calculate the risks, and get on with it. There’s no other choice. I can’t back out now. The day I was conceived was the day I entered the arena, and choice had… Read more

  • Finding Happy: On The Royal Mile

    December 2, 2020 by

    Is the cabin fever getting to anyone else? Is it too soon to make fever allusions? Have you, like me, actually tried to scale the walls of your home? You found a bug bite on your thigh and thought, for a fleeting six minutes and thirty-two seconds, that the universe was giving you a supernatural… Read more

  • What Did I Do To Deserve This?

    November 30, 2020 by

    Do you believe in Karma? The principle of cause and effect. What goes around comes around. Do unto others and all of that. Do you think it’s true? Do you think that everything we do, say, or put out in the universe has an impact on our current lives and our future selves? I could… Read more

  • Abolishing The Always

    November 27, 2020 by

    As a general rule, I choose to live my life in that awkward grey space that sits between two extremes. Life, as I’ve experienced it, isn’t all white or all black. It’s rarely all good or all bad. Most of the time, my journey has been a mix of bleeding watercolours that have created an… Read more

  • Finding Happy: In A Needle?

    November 25, 2020 by

    First off, that title, it’s not what it sounds like. I assure you it’s perfectly innocent. It’s as innocent as Christmas and Santa Clause, which is an odd comparison for me to make. If you know me, then you know I’m not a fan of the holidays. I don’t dislike them, and I don’t hate… Read more

  • Yeah, I Don’t Know Either

    November 23, 2020 by

    This is your one and only warning! You can’t say it didn’t happen. It was literally the first sentence I typed.  Prepare yourself for copious amounts of mental vomit. An expulsion of— Well, I don’t know either, but I can tell you that I’m having a moment of petulance. I’m staring at this blank page… Read more

  • We Need To Stop Saying This

    November 20, 2020 by

    Just don’t say it, please. Please, I’m begging you don’t let these words come out of your mouth. Yes, I’m talking to myself as much as I’m saying this to you. I’m guilty! I’ve let the words spill out of my mouth in an attempt to help comfort someone else. I’ve said them to myself,… Read more

  • Finding Happy: On A Frustrating Day

    November 18, 2020 by

    A few hours after my epic, and misguided, hike last weekend, the provincial government put parts of my province on lockdown. Confirmed cases are going up, and my region is topping the list. We’re number! Where’s my foam finger? Too bad it’s not the middle finger because that would perfectly express my feelings right now.… Read more

  • Correction: I’m A Coward

    November 16, 2020 by

    The clouds hang heavily in the sky, and rain batters the world below. The wind rustles the trees, and the trees let out an ungodly howl. A single crow clings to a barren branch of a lonely oak, and caws in defiance. The technicolour world fades to black and white as a three-note musical score… Read more

  • We Won’t Forget You!

    November 13, 2020 by

    Remembrance day has come and gone. For a moment, at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, we stop what we’re doing for a moment of silence. We honour the men and women who’ve sacrificed so much for the freedoms, rights, privileges that we take for granted. We thank them for… Read more

  • Finding Happy: On A Lonely Trail

    November 11, 2020 by

    I woke up early on Saturday morning and crawled out of bed. Now, I’m not a morning person, so there was a groan, a sigh, and I questioned my sanity. This is a day when sensible people sleep in and slowly start their weekend. Me? I was getting up with the sun and getting ready… Read more

  • The Problem With Self Help

    November 9, 2020 by

    I’m writing this on Saturday, just before noon, so, um, oops. Turns out I’m a tiny bit of a liar because here I am, doing the thing I said I wouldn’t do today. In my last post, I expressed my exhaustion and my overwhelming frustration with life. I’ve run out of emotions! I didn’t know… Read more

  • Note to Self: It’s Okay To Take A Break

    November 6, 2020 by

    I’m so distracted and out of focus. I can’t hold onto a thought, let alone follow it to a logical and meaningful conclusion. Sure, my attention span is woefully lacking on a good day. It’s so short, calling it a span seems like a gross overestimation of my ability to process real-time information. A span… Read more

  • Finding Happy: On The Streets of Paris

    November 4, 2020 by

    I’m feeling a little claustrophobic, and I’ve climbed the walls two dozen times in the last week alone. The restlessness is making my knee bounce up and down. There’s an itch I can’t scratch because flexibility is a myth. Or, I’m too tightly wound to be bend over backwards and kiss the sky. That big… Read more

  • You Can’t Complain!

    November 2, 2020 by

    Oh, I beg to differ, and I’m mildly offended. You’re seriously underestimating my abilities. What’s this “can’t” word you speak of? It does not compute, register, or sound like a word spoken in the queens English. I can’t, allegedly, complain? Girrrl. Boyyy. Um, insert your preferred pronoun, and own it loud and proud, my friend.… Read more

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